Doctor-slang.

'Cuz I've been sick for a while (random chest infection thingie) I went back to see my GP today. I couldn't get an appointment with my usual doctor 'cuz he was all booked up, so I saw some other guy. He seemed keen & young...came across very professional you know and he recommended we get some bloods done for me, which I agreed with.

He was filling the form out, ticking what blood tests he wanted me do when his phone rang & he said 'Yes, yes. Come in.' And then this happened. (BTW: MD- my doctor, OD- other doctor {who walks into the consulting room})

*Knock-knock on the door*

MD: Come in!

OD: Hey Bob* just need you to sign a form. (She also gave me a nod & a quick sorry)

MD: *looks at form & signs it*

MD: While you're here, can you help with this patient. (He check's if its okay to talk to her about my symptoms, says he'd like a second opinion with the OD for what bloods to order for me...and I'm okay with that)

OD: (after being updated) Bloods...hmmm, so what's she got?

MD: GORK!

OD: Right...

(I smile)

Me: Great.

(They both look at me)

Me: GORK?

(They look at each other)

Me: It's okay. I'm a medic.

For those of you really confused at the moment, let me explain how medicine works. Not everything is treatable. Not everything is diagnosable. Not every symptom matches up to a particular disease. If, in your lifetime, during the duration of your practice, you see 3 (or more) cases with the identical random symptoms which no one else has been able to identify with a particular disease, or treat, you get to name the condition after yourself. And GORK stands for god only really knows.

There's a whole lot of medical lingo out there, which has absolutely nothing to do with medicine. I currently finished my obsteric rotation & when a baby's born & they have a chromosomal abnormality with characteristic facial features, often among health professionals we use the term FLK. Funny looking kid. We're not being mean or anything, it's just lingo.

Face it. We have really boring lives. 99% of the general public couldn't possibly imagine what a doctor's life is like. The things they see, the things they do, places they've stuck their hands up. So this is the way we have a little fun. Here's some pneumonics I've used/heard/seen written in patients notes/come across. Enjoy!

Faecal encephalopaty/Cranio Rectal symdome: Shit for brains.

SBI: Something bad inside.

5-H 1-T: Shit.

FMPS: Fluff my pillow syndrome. (Attention seeking patient)

Bonehead: Orthopaedic doctor.

KFO: Knock the fucker out. (used when a patient is screaming in pain)

Pumpkin positive: As in you could shine a light in one ear & the whole head would light up.

GOLP: Generalized old lady pains.

Donut of death: The CT scan machine.

Shits & spits: Lab technicians.

WAFTAM: Waste of fucking time & money.

TTFO: Told to fuck off.

PRATFO: Patient reassured and told to fuck off.

Cunts & Runts: The obstetrics & gynae department.

DIIK: Darned if I know!

Circling the drain: About to die.

BMW: Bitch, moan, whine.

Meat hooks: Surgical instruments.

MUP: Made up pain.

UBI: Unexplained beer injury.

DFO: Drunk & fell over.

CBT: Chronic biscuit toxicity. (Really fat patient)
OPD: Obnoxious personality disorder.

TLR: Patient on experimental treatment, Two Legged Rat.

GACP: Gravity assisted concrete poisoning. Jumped from a builing basically.

ETOH: Extremely trashed and hammered.

NQRITH: Not quite right in the head.

Hi 5: HIV positive patient.

Brothel sprouts: Genital warts.

RFSK: Really fucking skinny kid.

DUMP: Patients that nobody wants, so you keep sending him off to another clinic.

Organ recital: A hypochondriac's medical history.

FUPA: Fat upper pussy area.

GOMER: Get out of my emergency room. (Used by ugly nurses who think they own it all)

NOCTOR: Nurse who goes on a 5 day course & acts like a know-it-all doctor.

ESBAM: Eat shit & bark at the moon. (As in, you're not gonna get what you want)

FDSTW: Found dead, stayed that way.

Imaginoscope: Something us students look through when a doctor shows you something on a report but you don't actually see what he's pointing at. Just nod :)

Handbag positive: Old confused lady, just sitting there clutching her handbag.

Guessing tubes: Stethescope.

Road pizza: Patient in road traffic accident with guts splattered out.

The garden: ICU where all the comatose (vegetable) patients are.

OFIG: One foot in the grave.

OFIGATOOS: One foot in the grave, and the other one slipping.

Chrome induced ischaemia: Patient developing pains in chest when being handcuffed.

Scumdex: You give one point for every tattoo, weird piercing, crazy hair cut the patient has. (Scum index)

Tooth to tattoo ratio: To determine how smart the patient is. 20 teeth : 1 tattoo- okay. 6 teeth : 32 tattoo's- not so ok.

TWSAM- Trash will survive and multiply.

NPS: New parent syndrome.

Banana: Patient with jaundice.

CRT: Can't really treat.

JPS injury: Just plain stupid injury. Mostly self induced by a patient lacking common sense.

RT: Room temperature i.e. dead.

Janitor's fracture: Fracture so obvious, a janitor could diagnose it.

APD: Acute prozac deficiency. Basically...depressed.

45C: Patient missing a chromosome. (Dumb idiot)

Choclate hostage: Constipated.

HAIRY PSALMS: Haven't any idea reagarding your patient, send a lot more sample.

D&D: Divorced & desperate. Middle aged woman visiting doctor on a regular basis.

FIT: Fart in transit. (Gas seen on X-ray)

Eiffel (I-fell) Symdrome: Patients explanation for weird object in rectum. I fell on it.

GDA: Gonna die anyway.

OBS: Obviously, bullshit.

HIVI: Husband is a village idiot.

TFTB: Too fat to breathe.

Vitamin M: Morphine.

Vitamin V: Valium.

Pecker checker: Sexual diseases specialist.

Discharged downstairs: Dead & sent to the morgue.

Red dot: Doctors from India. (Red dot on forehead...)

Huge long survery type thing someone sent me to fill out.

What time are you starting this?: 23:10
Name?: S
Nicknames?: That's a whole long list in itself.
Date of birth?: 7th March 1985
Sex?: Female
Height?: 5 foot 6 1/2 inches.
Eye color?: Dark brownie/black
Where were you born?: I have no idea.

Number of candles on your last birthday cake?: (h a p p y b i r t h d a y s * *) 16!
Pets?: Never!
Hair color?: Jet black
Piercings?: Just my ears
Town you live in?: Liverpool
Favorite foods?: I LOVE FOOD! Any food will do, not vegetarian boring stuff though. Indian, mexican, chinese, spainsh, french, italian, pani puri, choclate- I could really go on and on.
Ever been to Africa?: Yeap
Been toilet papering?: What is that? Like have I ever made toilet paper? No.
Love someone so much it made you cry?: Oooooh yes.
Been in a car accident?: Unfortunately, yes. But I'm still here! =)
Croutons or bacon bits?: Bacon bits! More versatile to eat with other foods.
Favorite day of the week?: Thursday, 'cuz I know its just another day to the weekend!! Plus I was born on thursday.
Favorite restaurant?: In Liverpool- Nando's, Bella Italia, Est est est, Quinny's. In Singapore- the dosa place in Little India, Komala Villas :) Sketches, Marche's, my kitchen! :)

Favorite flower?: Roses.
Favorite sport to watch?: Cricket.
Favorite drink?: Tang! It gets me hiiiiiiigh!

Favorite ice cream flavor?: Double mint choclate chip.

Warner Bros. or Disney?: Disney!
Favorite fast food restuarant?: I don't like fast food! I can do a take away kebab sometimes I guess...
Carpet color in your bedroom?: A dark greeny/bluey one.
How many times did you fail your driver's test?: Never.
Whom did you get your last email from?: An e-card from my mum wishing me luck for exams.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?: CHANEL!!!!!!!
What do you do most often when you are bored?: Dance & then I'm never bored again! :)
Most annoying thing to say to me?: "Oh you're one of those" I'm not one of anything... and "Believe you me..." WTF does that mean??!
Bedtime?: 10:30 during the weeks I'm working, later on off days.
Favorite TV show?: Right now, Gossip girl!!!!!! It's so additive!!!
Last person you went out to dinner with?: Oh wow, I haven't been out to dinner in a WHILE! My dairy reminder says it was on the 17th of May for my housemate's birthday. We went to this really nice Malaysian place. Geez, I've been ill for so long! I really need to get out of the house!
Been out of country?: Yeah...
Believe in magick?: Not really.
Ford or Chevy?: Audi.
What are you listening to right now?: The tv's on + I'm playing a selection of Jack Johnson stuff on my CD player.
Have you ever failed a grade?: Yeah, twice.
Do you have a crush on someone?: Currently no, wish I did though!
Do you have a bf/gf?: Ummm...no? "It's complicated"

If so, what is their name?: D

How long have you been together?: Year & a half.
What are you wearing right now?: Black satin pyjamas.
Would you have sex before marriage?: Erm. Yeah?
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: Haha! No...
Are you a virgin?: I think these questions are very intrusive...
Do you smoke?: I repeat what I just said.
Do you drink?: I like sangria & tang. I'm not into alcohol. I'll have the occasional glass of wine in company & a glass of bubbly during celebrations.
Are you ghetto?: Hahahahahaha! When I'm in the mood, yeah.
Are you a player?: I couldn't if I tried!!
What are your favorite colors?: Lavender, pink, lavender, silver, lavender, black.
What is your favorite animal?: One that doesn't come anywhere near me.
Do you have any birthmarks?: I have a very promiment mole on my left cheek & a couple of others.
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: By my brother yeah!
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: Jess, my mum, Jiteh, Steven, D, my brother, hell I'll talk to anyone if its on the phone!!
Have you ever been slapped?: Yes.
Do you get online a lot?: Yeah, I guess. When I've got time off from school and work.
Are you shy or outgoing?: Outgoing with my friends, shy if I'm meeting new people.
Do you shower?: Regularly? Well, at regular intervals, yes.
Do you hate school?: Some days.
Do you have a social life?: Hahahaha, awww, I'd like to think so!!
How easily do you trust people?: When I'm in love, very easily.
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: Absolutely.
Would you ever sky dive?: I have before, I'd do it again.
Do you like to dance?: LOVE TO!!!!!!!
Have you ever been out of state?: I don't live in a state.
Do you like to travel?: Absolutely.
Have you ever been expelled from school?: Nope.
Have you ever been suspended from school?: Nope.
Do you want to get out of your hometown?: I don't have a hometown. I'm a nomad.
Are you spoiled?: Only in one facet of my life, when I fly. As in on an airplane.
Are you a brat?: Nah!
Have you ever been dumped?: Yeah...
Have you ever gotten high?: I'm always high on life!
Do you like snapple?: Eugh, no.
Do you drink a lot of water?: Atleast 2 lts a day.
What toothpaste do you use?: The kind that comes in a bottle & can stand up on its own. I don't like toothpaste in tubes.
Do you have a cell phone?: 3 actually.
Do you have a curfew?: Never did, my mom drops me off clubbing in Singapore around 11 pm & my friends & I get back just in time to have breakfast with her!
Who do you look up to?: My mum.
Are you a role model?: Not really.
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point?: I don't know where that is.

What name brand do you wear the most?: Currently, Primark.
What kind of jewelry do you wear?: Shiny stuff, lots & lots of bling!!
What do you want pierced?: Tongue, eyebrow & another one on my ear lobe.
Do you like takin pictures?: Absolutely!

Do you like gettin your picture taken?: Hell yeah :)
Do you have a tan?: No & I avoid trying to get one.
Do you get annoyed easily?: Not really. Try living with my brother, it gives you a good tolerance for annoyance.
Have you ever started a rumor?: Not started, but I'm sure I've spiced things up a bit.
Do you have your own phone or phone line?: Yes, three.
Do you have your own pool?: One day!!
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: I like chilling in boxers. I'm guessing this survey was made for men...?
Do you have any siblings?: One very annoying at times baby brother, who people assume is my boy friend 'cuz he's a foot taller than me although he's almost 6 years younger.
Have you ever been played?: Yes! I was 16 :(
Have you ever played anyone?: Like I said, couldn't if I tried.
Do you get along with your parents?: My mum, yes. My dad, not so much.
How do you vent your anger?: Yell, run & cry.
Have you ever ran away?: I'd like to...where would I go??
Have you ever been fired from a job?: Not yet.
Do you even have a job?: Haha, yes. I'm a bartender/waitress/care assistant.
Do you daydream a lot?: Every second I get.
Do you have a lot of ex's?: No.
Do you run your mouth?: What does that mean??
What do you want a tattoo of?: My name or something pretty...
What do you have a tattoo of?: Kat drew a bum on my hand earlier...
What does your ex bf/gf look like?: Like a doof.
What does your most recent crush look like?: I don't have a crush on anyone...
Whats her/his name?: See previous answer.
Have you ever been bitched out?: Yes.
Are you rude?: Me, nah, never.
What was the last compliment you recieved?: That my sari looked nice this Saturday at Peter & Becky's wedding.
Do you like getting dirty?: At times. Kinda can't help it when I'm playing rugby.
Are you flexiable?: Flexiable, no. Flexible, yes.
What is your heritage?: Mostly Indian.
What is your lucky number?: 7
What does your hair look like right now?: A mess 'cuz I haven't washed it in almost 4 days.
Could you ever be a vegetarian?: Hahahahahahaha!!! NEVER!!!!!!!!
Describe your looks?: Are you kidding?
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: Light brown.
Would you ever date someone younger than you?: No, I couldn't.
Would you ever date someone older than you?: Yeah, but not by too many years.
When was the last time you were drunk?: Many many years ago.
How many rings until you answer the phone?: However many it takes me to find it from between my things.
Have you ever been skinny dipping?: Nope, but I want to!
If yes, when was the last time?: Umm...I haven't.
When was the last time you went on a date?: This is sad...many many MANY MAAANY months ago. (I say months to make myself feel better & not say years)
Do you look more like your mother or father?: My dad. Without the mustache though.
Do you cry a lot?: More than average, yeah.
Do you ever cry to get your way?: Once when I was in a bit of a stick situation with the border police...but I try not to make a habit out of it.
What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: "like"
Are you the romantic type?: Very much so.
Have you ever been chased by cops?: Not yet.
What do you like most about your body?: My eyes, my hair...
What do you like least about your body?: My fat bum
When did you have your first crush?: Grade 10. It lasted 2 days.
When was the last time you threw up?: An hour ago.
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: Brunettes.
Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly?: If I wanted to scare someone, yes.
What about cleavage?: Yeah.
Is your best friend a virgin?: No.
Have you ever fucked someone up?: No
Have you ever been fucked up?: A little...
What theme does your room have?: Pink/purple/fairy/floaty/scented candle-ey.
What size show do you wear?: For what?
What is your screen name on AIM?: I don't have aim
How are you feeling right now?: Tired, 'cuz I'm sick. But okay.
When was the last time you were at a party?: A salsa night in early May.
Have you ever given a lapdance?: No.
Have you ever recieved one?: No, but I really want one!
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: Yes, it was horrible.
What is one of your bad qualilties?: I let my frustration build up a lot.
What is one of your good qualilties?: I'm very affectionate.
Would you marry for money?: Might do.
What do you drive?: Nothing here, back in Singapore its a Mitsubishi Space Wagon.
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child?: Mummy!!
So?: what?
Well?: yea?
When was the last time you cried in school?: When I fainted a month back.
Would you ever hook up with the same sex?: I'll try everything once.
What kind of music do you like?: Love songs, hip hop.
Would you ever bungee jump?: I have before & I'd do it again.
What is your worst fear?: 2 creepy crawlies.
Would you ever join the army?: I would love to try.
Do you like cows?: No
If you were to die today, what would you do?: Cash my bank account, kiss a woman, eat prawns, have sex, look at photos of my friends, call someone who's gonna tell me they think I'm hot, they love me (& they'd actually mean it), crash a pagani zonda, tell my brother to study hard & fly over to Singapore to die in my mother's arms.
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it b?: HELP!
Do you like to party?: Very much.
Hearts or broken hearts?: Right now it's a broken heart...
Moons or stars?: The moon.
Coke or pepsi?: Neither, I don't drink fizzy drinks.
Favorite scent?: Hypnotic poison, christian dior.
Favorite band?: Currently, the Ting Tings & Jal.
Would you ever dye your hair red?: Yup.
How many languages can you speak?: 9
What time are you finishing this?: 12:07

My eyes, Sushi recipe, something about a manicure & odd friendships.

So much to say, so little space on Blogger :) My mind is just whizzing right now. Actually it's pretty tired too, 'cuz I'm still sick & I need sleep. Right, another thing- why isn't anyone actually taking part in my poll??! Is it 'cuz its boringly medical & its not about Britney Spears' pregnancy test or Paris Hilton's thong? 'Cuz if that's the reason you gotta let me know, I'm very accommodating (how many c's & how many m's?!? Eek! I can't spell), I can change it if you like.

This morning as I ran out the door with yoghurt in one hand, talking to my mum on the phone, tripping over books and my charger cable, I stopped briefly to slap some make up on my face. Partly because I looked like death itself & I really didn't want little kids pointing at me againin horrow. The only thing that I could grab was some eye liner/kajal so I put some on. Thats when I saw them again. (Well _obviously_) But yeah...where was I? Oh yeah, my eyes! I saw my eyes. People have always said I've got nice eyes. (Thank you people). It's on my top 4 list of what I like about my body (along with my hair, my nails & my ankles- apparently I have thin ankles & not cankles, which is an expression I was shocked to discover a couple of years ago). But getting back to my eyes. Yeap, love 'em. Eyes are definately the way to one's soul. And I know that when I smile, when I'm truly happy, my eyes smile too =) *awwwwwwwwwww moment!*

Okay so that's not the nicest picture of my eyes, but it was the only one I could find. Whatever. Next yummy topic- Sushi!!! So incredibly easy to make!!

• Boil some sushi rice & keep aside to cool.
• Pick the stuffing that you want to wrap (eg. cucumber, peppers, salmon, tuna, prawn- see I stuck vegetarian stuff in there too! =P ) and chop in tiny pieces.
• On your rolling mat place a sheet of seaweed that you're gonna wrap the ingredients in.
• Smoothen a layer of rice halfway on the seaweed sheet, place the ingredients in the center of the layer of rice & gently but tightly wrap the rice with the aid of the mat.
• Fasten the end bit of the seaweed sheet by moistening with a touch of water.
• Cool your sushi in the fridge for 3 hours before cutting into desired slices with a moist knife. Enjoy!

My yummy lunch from this afternoon.

Another thing thats on my mind right now are my nails. Like my fingernails. I've never ever been able to grow them long and usually when I trim them they look so short & stubby. Ugly, ugh! In junior school my mum cut 'em for me 'cuz you weren't supposed to have them long apparently. In midde school I started karate lessons and for all those years I wasn't allowed to have them long 'cuz you can hurt people while sparring. Yeah sure, what the heck does karate teach us to do anyway??! When I shared that opinion with my sensai, boy did I get in trouble. Finally in high school I had to endure my dad's opinions on my 'jangali naakhoon' and keep them short because it's practical. Ummm, I was in high school- practical wasn't in my vocabulary back then. Hell, it isn't even now! What does the term 'practical' refer to anyhoo?! When I escaped to university I rejoiced in finally being able to have my nails long. I had such fantasmic images of bonding with girl friends while chatting over manicures, so Legally Blonde-esq. Then I did a double turn and I realised I was studying medicine. Keep your nails short, all our clinical guidelines yelled. I agreed once again to cut my nails. This time I also did it a little bit willingly 'cuz you really don't want your gloves to rip because of your long nails while you perform a vaginal, or even worse a rectal exam on someone. My hands have been places & seen so much!

But, I have been sick for almost three weeks now & for Becky & Peter's wedding over the weekend, my nails had grown enough to deserve a well earned manicure. And so I did. =) I polished & buffed, shaped & painted and I love the way they look now.

Ahem, please also notice the very gorgeous diamond...I love that ring!!! =)

And lastly, today I spoke to an old friend. He sent me an old old video he had of me, that I'd forgotten about & it was all good. =) I have the weirdest friends in the weirdest places. All my good friends have nothing in common with me, we love sharing all out craziness with each other & sometimes go with the other's flow to just enjoy what the person likes to enjoy. Exactly like this picture.

All odd friendships. (I represent the pigeon by the way, all by buddies are the cute little chimp. Wait, he is kinda cute. On second thought- I'm the chimp! Except it's a she-chimp now.)
Me & Jess. She's the over achieving, hard working, goody good christian.
Me & Susu. He's a lawyer, with a flair for the English language & loves to diss everyone every chance he gets.
Me & Mick. My alternative grunge lovin' baby brother who can bore me to death with his Jungian/Freudian (whatever's cool this week) theories that I could never give a crap about.
Me & Coco. The geek, the engineer, the ardent christian & painter.
Me & Ste. The scouse musician/lawyer who wants to buy property in Azerbajan with a love for history (puke!). He should be president of the States!
Me & mum. The amazingly strong woman with such honest principles, a gentle loving demeanor & faith in Sikhism.
Me & Sunny. The womanizing charmer, with a huge business funda and a 7 digit salary.
Me & Vik. The mechatronics freak who would have difficulty picking between a basketball & a robot for a date. He'd probably pick them both over sex to be honest.
Me & Squid. The girly girl, so dedicated to her fiance, bhukhi all the time but never putting on an ounce of weight!!!

All these people, so different from me. I love that you're my friends. You're more actually, you're family. (My mum & brother toh literally na.) Thank you for being my angels & having me in your lives. I love you all!!

What you find in Med School.

Things that tick me off incredibly.

I need to bitch. I rarely do, but this is one of those moments.

• Heartbreak. I wish I didn't waste my time, if I knew it was gonna result in heartbreak. I hate being heartbroken. I feel like a lost puppy...And I don't like feeling like a lost puppy. What a dumb thing to feel.
• Scouse accents. 5 years and I still don't get them. I thought the Haryanvi accent was crude...Geez...
• People who don't live in Liverpool & love LFC. That's just pointless.
• People that stand in the MIDDLE of a step on elevators. What is up with that? Some of us have a life, and we need to get to it! Left or right, pick a side & stick to it!
• Patients that think they're Jesus Christ.
• Nurses that hate doctors/medical students.
• Nurses that think they know all about ECG's 'cuz they went on a 5 day course at a cardiology convention.
• People that think I'm a nurse.
• When my housemates open the fridge & stand there staring into it with no intention of actually taking something out of it or sticking something into it. Food isn't gonna appear out of no where!!
• Aunties & uncles who gossip about Mr. Chopra's son dating a white chick. GET OVER IT!
• 11 digit phone numbers. Seriously, what were they thinking in the UK. I live with 6 people. How am I supposed to remember all their numbers in case of an emergency?
• Vegetarians. For every animal you don't eat, I'm gonna eat four.
• For people who think I have too many shoes, unless you want my heel causing a rectal obstruction, shut up.
• People who freak out on the morning of exams, say they haven't studied enough and then do really well. 'Oh my god, I really didn't expect it, I thought I was gonna fail...' Blah blah blah.
• People who think they're to posh to eat at a dhaba. Just go jump off a bridge somewhere.
• People who're not pilots, yet still wear aviators.
• Super anal, wanna be surgeons, who know jack about anatomy.
• Patients that lie about how much they smoke/drink. I'm gonna find out eventually.
• Blonde's that act dumb on purpose.
• People that start doing impressions of my accent & then ask me where I'm from. You've just met me, who the hell are you judging you pea-brain!?!
• People that think that Singapore is in America 'cuz my accent sounds as such.
• People that think I should be chinese because I'm from Singapore.
• People who don't get what a TCK is.
• People that recall the events of 'dude-what-a-cool-club-i-got-hammered-in' last night really loudly on their cell phone, while on public transport. You suck at life, forever.
• And finally, men that don't respect women. I've said this before, I'm sure there's some decent men out there (on a planet far far away) but most of the men I know, haven't a clue about how to treat a woman.

That is all, for now.

Still sick...and tired.

I'm still beat from yesterday. I've been feeling so lethargic the last couple of weeks, I don't know why. I need to get more sleep. And I just want to get the next week and a half of exams totally over with.

Kat & Shai came to Becky's wedding yesterday. Shame Coco couldn't be there, but she needed to be on Mt.Kilimanjaro right now. So we all understand. Kat really wants to get married =) you can see it in her face. Especially yesterday! Haha! Bless her...

This is the most gorgeous wedding dress I've seen in a long long time. I've always wanted a pouffy dress, like a ball gown. Becky wore a gorgeous one yesterday, she looked so stunning...but this picture makes this dress look so so SO good!

Plus these rings. I love diamonds! Don't they look amazing? Anyway, I'm still waiting on pictures from yesterday. I have no idea where Surjit is. He took a whole load of pictures yesterday. Texted him a couple of times & he's still not on MSN. I really want to see pictures from the wedding!!!!!!!!!!! Will put 'em up when I get my hands on them!

Exhausted...

I'm really exhausted at the moment. Peter & Becky's wedding was today...and it was such a beautiful ceremony! I was really nervous about how Becky would look (I did her make up) but she looked uber glam & it all turned out fantastic!! Her dress was gorgeous & she has this amazing hour glass-esqe shape. And I still can't believe Peter wore a kilt! Hahahaha! Anyway, I was up at 7 am this morning to head to hers, and I only had 4 hours sleep & after an obviously long day, I'm exhausted. Terribly exhausted! There's so much I want to put down in words about today though but I haven't the energy so I'm gonna leave you with a video that is so typically 'me'. Haha, always makes me laugh! My brother says it almost looks like I planned it, but erm, trust me, I'm just naturally clumsy! Lol =)

Enjoy & I'll put some pictures up from the wedding soon. Good night!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not alter, when it alteration finds...

Seafood pasta with a rocket salad.

• Heat a table spoon of extra virgin olive oil in a pan.
• Add 2 tea spoon of ginger & garlic paste, each. Alternatively add 10 grams chopped ginger & 5 cloves of garlic, crushed.
• Add 100 grams of prawns (shrimp), mussels & kalamari (squid) to the pan and stir for 5 minutes.
• Add 3 blended tomatoes (or finely chopped & squished tomatoes- alternatively add equal amounts of ready pasta sauce) and 2 table spoons of concentrated totamo puree paste.
• Stir for 5 minutes.
• Add salt, pepper, lemon juice, coriander (powder or fresh) & dill (freshly chopped) to taste & stir for the last five minutes.
  
• Boil 75 grams wholemeal pasta in a pot. Add a tea spoon of butter and a pinch of salt. When nice and soft, which would be about 10 minutes later, add the seafood in & serve.
  
• For the salad, wash the rocket and strain.
• Add half a tea spoon mustard to one tea spoon extra virgin olive oil. Now add 2 tea spoon white wine vinegar to the equation and drizzle this all into your rocket.
• Grate some cheddar onto the rocket & serve with the pasta.

Enjoy! =)

My funky monkey glasses.

So I ordered these glasses online & they arrived today. They make me look SOOOO intellectual!! =) Exactly what I had in mind!! They're incredibly light too- its like I'm not even wearing them!!

See, some of you might think I'm a little bit mental for doing this, but I actually don't _NEED_ glasses. I have perfect vision, better than perfect *knockonwood* but for some reason I've always been jealous of people that wear glasses. All my 6 flatmates wear prescription glasses...and I've kinda always wanted to. So I ordered them online instead!! Woo hoo!

The ordered silver ones but I actually got them in plum 'cuz they were out of the silver (they were absolutely dirt cheap!!) and they came in a cool pink case. Dude, sweet. =) =)

Why did I buy them then you ask?

1) They make me look smarter. Like intellectual smarter. And as a medical student you get taken very seriously if you look the geeky part.

2) I wear gloves/aprons/masks/hats etc when I'm around patients or in theatre and make sure if I've got cuts somewhere then I keep them bandaged. Luckily, I've never had any problems with a needle stick or any other sharps injury. But I'm really REALLY _REALLY_ freaked about getting something (i.e. bodily fluids) in my eye. This is the one way into my body for germs that I cannot protect. Hence glasses! They make me feel safer as I go around the hospital, and really thats the only place I need to use 'em.

Genius, aren't I? *hugewidegrin* Plus I'm totally loving this slight pink/purple tint they have- awesomeness!!

ps: They're giving me a slight bit of a headache, even though they have no power. Is that bad?

I dance to my heart's content everyday!

So I was sitting at my desk revising...till the kids in the street below started yelling and shouting. They do this often, sometimes in the middle of their football or just generally when they're running around. So I decided to take a break from the studying & not being able to focus anyway I just decided to stretch my legs.

And as was usual, I ended up dancing to the music they were blasting down in the street. I played a couple of songs on my laptop & continued grinning & dancing around in my room (while being productive & vaccuming) and I realised, as always, how much joy dancing brought me.

I don't know what made me look outside again, but when I did I saw this boy in a wheel chair & I felt something twist in my stomach. All the kids were dancing but he remained at a distance. I could see his dad/older brother point to the kids and ask if he wanted to join them, but he stayed put. I watched him for a couple of minutes and then his dad/older brother person, wheeled him away and they went down the street.

I don't know who that little boy was. I don't know why he was in a wheel chair. I don't even know if he liked dancing & wasn't able to anymore. All I could think was, I've never thanked God for the fact that I'm able to dance.

I love to dance & I'm always thinking about it & dancing around everywhere but I don't think I've ever been grateful for it. I've never thanked Him. Never in 23 years. I'm sorry. It's moments like these when I realize how perfect you are & how much more I need to grow in you.

Thank you. Thank you that I have limbs that I can use. To walk. To run. To dance. Thank you.

Lamb curry.

All right! So I had some yummy lamb curry this afternoon for lunch & I'd like to share the recipe with you. Generally it is my dad who makes a really mean hyderabadi mutton curry (mutton is goat meat guys) but since I really don't know where I can get goat in Liverpool the lamb from Tesco's is a close second choice. This is really easy to make, atleast the way I do it & its really yum!

Traditional Indian mutton curry is made in a pressure cooker. It comes out absolutely delicious that way & the meat literally just falls off the bone. It can be made on a flame stove as well, like my dad does. But if you're scared of a pressure cooker like I am and have a electric hob- like I do =) don't fear. We'll make it work either way.

Firstly lets tackle the lamb. In itself it's quite a rich meat & very heavy, so trust me you want to take all the fat off it. Clean & wash the meat well, lamb fat doesn't taste very nice when cooked Indian style. Chop the lamb in small pieces, the size you want to eat in one bite. Lamb's a tough meat & you don't want to be ripping it apart & struggling with it on the table.

In a big bowl marinade half kilo chopped pieces of lamb in

-2 table spoons lemon juice

-4 table spoons greek yoghurt

-Pinch of salt, pepper & terragon each, or however much you prefer.

Wrap & keep to marinate in your fridge for an hour.

For the curry you need

-1 hugely large onion, finely chopped

-4 huge tomatoes, finely chopped

-2 table spoons garlic paste (or 8-9 cloves of garlic, finely chopped)

-2 table spoons ginger paste (or 30 grams ginger, finely chopped)

-Coriander seeds

-Mustard seeds

-Cumin seeds (a.k.a zeera/jeera)

-Cloves (powder or whole)

-Cardamom (powder or whole)

-Nutmeg (powder or whole)

-Cinnamon (a stick or powder)

-3 Bay leaves

To make the lamb heat 2 table spoon sunflower oil in a wok/kadhai/pan. Once medium hot chuck 10 grams of the coriander, cumin & mustard seeds in. You can also throw in whole black pepper kernels for a more spicy flavour. Then chuck a the cinnamon stick with a few cloves, cardamom & nutmeg bits or a couple of pinches of each powder followed by the bay leaves. Chuck the garlic & ginger in after 10-15 seconds. This should all be sizzling in your pan now & you might find it handy to reach for a splatter guard.

Throw your onions in now and stir 'em around till they're a nice golden brown & follow that with the tomatoes. If you don't like your curry with a it of tangyness to it, don't put as many tomatoes in. Now keep stirring this mixture so that it doesn't burn and cookit for a couple of minutes till it reduces by half. Reducing it means to cook the tomatoes & onions down, till you have a sort of mushy paste. This is called your 'tadka', which is the base of all Indian cooking.

Now you need to enhance the flavour of the curry with some good old Indian masala's (spices). Stick

-2 tea spoons garam masala

-1 tea spoon salt

-1 tea spoon coriander powder

-1/2 tea spoon turmeric (haldi)

-1 tea spoon chilli (or however much you like)

-1/2 tea spoon cumin powder

-A pinch of mango powder (a.k.a amchur powder, khataii)

and stir your mushy tadka around. Now stick your meat it & stir for about 10 minutes. Reduce the heat, add 150 ml of water, 5 table spoons of full (or half/single) cream & cook for a good 30 minutes. Keep stirring every few minutes so that the curry doesn't burn at the bottom of the pan. When it's cooked, garnish with some chopped coriander (or spring onions like I have 'cuz I ran out of coriander!!) and serve on a bed of rice.

For the rice, I usually use basmati rice which is widely available. But really anything you prefer will do. The key to cooking rice is to wash it a couple of times to remove the starch. You know when the water you're washing is doesn't turn a milky white, that your rice is clean. Stick your pinky in the vessel you're cooking your rice in measure the depth of the rice. Add water to twice that level, and that's how much water you need. Add a dollop of butter, a pinch of salt & a tea spoon of ginger paste in your rice & that makes it really fragrant.

Hope all this is pretty simple & easy to follow. This is the first recipe I've ever made up, don't worry I'm not quitting my day job just as yet! =) Let me know if this turns out well (or horribly wrong) with anyone & ofcourse, constructive criticism is always welcome!

Note to self. The cops just took D's car.

Snow smells so nice!

This video always makes me smile...It was pretty long ago, when it hailed for the first time that year & we knew winter had arived. As it started snowing, we ran outside & went pretty mental, we made snow angels, had a snow ball fight, made and dressed our own snow man...

Snow makes me smile & I totally love that smell of fresh snow. Everyone's always laughing and smiling when it snows & everyone seems to get along...I love that about the snow. It has that weird way of bringing people together...Just generally making you leave behing your stresses & acting 5 years old again. Hahaha! Tobogganing still is just as exciting for me at 23 as it was when I was 2...

I was about a year old when I first saw snow. I was living with my mum in Dalhousie and to this day I can remember that sweet smell. That combination of her chanel perfume & the fresh snow. I vaguely remember a pony, a piano & ofcourse the snow fall. To this day I remember, those first 'bonding moments' with my mum in the snow. I can clearly remember her telling me to stick my tongue out and to try and eat the flakes, she taught me how to make my first snow angel & she plonked this huge snowball on my head! Hehe. Bless her! Those were such good times! I was so young, I can't believe I still remember this stuff...I spoke to mum for 7 minutes today. I hate the time difference! I just want her to come here & visit me. I want exams to be over & I want to just hug her! So so bad.

Anyway, its off to bed for me. I'm guessing I'm gonna have sweet dreams. =)

Buenas noches!

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."-Albert Schweitzer

Je suis free! =)

I did it. I reported it! And I didn't even leave fingerprints.

I feel so 'Alias' -esq cool, its so unbelievable. *HUGEwidegrin*

I've controlled my temper and been a good girl. I just want to do the right thing, ofcourse I do.

I just wish I could hit back, yell back or just express how angry this situation makes me. But I'm not being like that... It wont be the right thing to do. I can't believe my consciense is kicking in right now at this moment! Lol...urgh!!! Talk about ironic...

I want sweet revenge, I can almost taste it. I want to act on impulse but I can't believe I'M actually not! I have this opportunity to be shit ass nasty & I can't believe I'm not acting upon this god sent opportunity. But I guess it's not god sent. It's more like the devils work.

I guess I'm not gonna do something to hurt someone because I know exactly how that feels, how much that sucks. So I guess I am a good person on the inside. Right, back to revision. I feel so free! *big smile*

9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1...

9 LASTS...:

.
Last dollar spent:: On my flight back to Manchester from Singapore. Spent $60 on some revlon stuff.

.
Last cigar:: Never

.
Last beverage:: Water, 2 hours ago when I needed to take my meds.

.
Last movie:: Into the blue? With Jessica Alba & Paul Walker. It was on TV a couple of days ago. In the cinema, I last saw 21 & what happens in Vegas, both the same evening a couple of weeks ago.

.
Last phone call:: My mummy called :) couple of hours ago.

.
Last song played:: Porque es tan cruel el amor- Ricardo Arjona

.
Last bubble bath:: More than a year ago...I need one now so bad!

.

Last thing you ate:: Salmon with noodles & plain yoghurt.

.
8 HAVE YOU EVERS...

.
Have you ever dated a best friend:: Nope.

.
Have you ever skinny dipped:: No, but I'd like to.

.
Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it:: Yes, twice.

.

Have you ever lost someone you loved:: No. Well yes, but he didn't die.

.
Have you ever been dumped:: Yeap. Just recently.

.
Have you ever been drunk and threw up:: Not in many years, thank god!

.
Have you ever run away:: No, but I'm so close...again, where would I go?!

.
7 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TO:
1.: Los Angeles

2.: Agra
3.: Sydney
4.: Nairobi
5.: Bangkok
6.: Auckland
7.: Tokyo

.
6 THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY: (in no particular order...)
1.: DHL'd documents.
2.: Had a text argument.
3.: Yoga'd
4.: Studied
5.: Cried
6.: Coughed my lung out. (Almost)

.
5 OF YOUR FAVIES (in no particular order...):
1.: People that can make me laugh.

.
2.: Hugs from people that truly care for me.

.
3.: cooking spicy, tangy, exotic food- with prawns!

.
4.: Bling-bling! Diamonds!!

.
5.: Dancing to my hearts content! =)

.
4 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL [almost] NETHING 2 (no particular order):
1.: Jessica
2.: Suren
3.: My mum
4.: My brother

.
3 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE:
1.: Romantic, close intimate & fuzzy moments with someone.

.
2.: When I see patients being really strong & positive as they fight through illnesses...I want to smile for them, pray for 'em & hug 'em. Its so encouraging to see such amazing people.

.
3.: Silly things like ice cream, cotton candy, babies, latin music playing, water balloon fights, snow & bright sparkly stuff.

.
2 THINGS U WANNA DO BEFORE U DIE:
1.: Get my pilot's license.
2.: Find someone who loves me back...cares for me...

.
1 THINK YOU CANNOT LIVE W/OUT:
#1 Thing:: Support, love & care of my family & friends.

.

.

.

Or possibly toilet paper...

Who am I?

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."- Oscar Wilde

I know it sounds so picture perfect & my brother would give an arm to be here, but staying in the snowy-cold weather is getting seriously annoying to my sinuses. I have major ENT problems that have turned me deaf- but that is never EVER…gonna get in the way of me flying =)

I’m growing older & that freaks me out! The dark freaks me out too. Sometimes. I’m sick of other people dumping their problems on me. Ugh, idiots! My issues are so much more important! =P But apparently I have a soul & am a good listener. Might have something to do with me being a Piscean. Got a typical lavender loving, day-dreaming, emotional love bug on your hands that can chill on a beach or in her pool all day.

My baby brother…makes me smile. Everyone thinks we’re dating. Might have something to do with him being a foot taller than me & looking 5 years older than me, rather than the other way around. Ice cream also makes me smile. But where I absolutely let loose, is on the dance floor. Whether its my hair up & sticking to the rules of ballroom & latin, or its letting my hair down & shaking them hips- DANCING is my way of life & it makes me grin from ear to ear!

I like to- cook-feed-eat, sing along to my guitar alone in my room, paint/sketch/scribble, swim, dance in the rain, laugh, drive, pray, smell flowers, take pictures, sew, traveltraveltravel, read Shakespeare, watch a musical/ballet, cuddle/deliver/sing to babies, interior design & talk on the phone curled up in my bed with hot choclate. (whipped cream please!)

And long as you seriously don’t mention snakes or lizards, (‘cuz you would make me cry if you did!) we could even get along. And God! If you’re reading this- GET IN TOUCH!

Right, going to go watch apprentice now. It's on, on a Tuesday. But only for this week. Lets see what Sir Alan Sugar has up his sleeve...

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

I need a cuddle! I miss my mom so much right now, she'll be here in a fortnight once I get exams out the way. But I still do miss her a whole lot! Cuddling her is so soft and warm I just always get the fuzzies. =) I'm still heartbroken this morning...but I've just been *shockgaspingshock* 'cuz I've spent £133.24 DHL'ing documents to Nairobi for my housemate! Can you believe it! See I don't get this, I always tell people to plan plan plan before they leave for a trip as big as a post-exam-3-week-recluse-climbing-mount-kilimanjaro. But Coco and Squid didn't listen. From their malaria tablets to sending Coco's sister documents for her british visa so she can come to Coco's graduation hs all come on to my very responsible shoulders (NOT! *smirks*) and I hope I've done the job right.

Coco's a real dear friend of mine. We'll all lived together for 3 years now and 310 is most definately home to all of us. I really want her sister to make it to Coco's graduation (she's topped her year & I'm very proud of her) 'cuz I know it means the world to have her family here for such an important day. Which reminds me, I must ask them if they've ordered their robes and things too. See people always call me the worrier, but it's all good now isn't it...When others forget to do stuff. Hah!

I guess I'd just like to be appreciated for things I do...

Any-hoot! I came across Amitabh Bachan & Aamir Khan's blog today. See I swapped my old laptop with my dad and now am the proud owner of a hot hot vaio. I hadn't changed the home page my dad had on here, of India Times and I came across some news about Big B badmouthing SRK on his blog. From there I also discovered why this man thinks 'Why angry old men shoudn't blog' which made for very entertaining reading. I must remember to send these links to my mum. She's going to love these celebrity blogs, they certainly do make up some really enjoyable reading.

For now I'm gonna make myself some enjoyable reading, for like 10 years from now!

1. Slept naked? Not in a couple of days.

2. Taken a shower with someone? Check.

3. Kissed a member of the same sex? No, but I want to! =)

4. Drove a car faster than you should have? No, never.

5. Stole anything? Most recently, Squid's thong's.

6. Been in love? Double check.

7. Been dumped? Yes, unfortunately.

8. Stolen money from a friend/family member? I stole $10 out of my mum's wallet in Year 11. But I felt so guilty I told her about it the next day with a huge flood of tears & she forgave me...which made me feel even MORE guilty.

9. Eaten something that you regret? Wasabi! I was on a plane to LA via Tokya in '01, lunch was a 5 course meal and I didn't opt out of a course of japanese noodles with wasabi!! The first time I ate it, it stung SO BAD! I can now tolerate it in small doses.

10. Ever put lemon in your hair? I have rubbed it in once, yes. Apparently it helps with a flaky scalp but I just smelt citrussy after.

11. Been to more than 7 different countries? Yup. My dad's a pilot. We travel a lot.

12. Ever caught a butterfly? No, that's cruel! My brother is a lepidophobic though. I've always thought that's SO weird.

13. Ever caught a wild animal? I've seen 'em in a Kenyan safari, no wait that doesn't count. Umm, I stumbled across a baby cobra when I was 10. I'd been camping with my brother and a friend but some Indian army men we're around and they smashed its head in with a brick. Then my friend told me horrible stories about how its mother was gonna come at us for revenge. I've been an ophidophobe since!

17. Had a crush on your neighbour? Nope. My neighbours we're never applicable for crushes.

18. Ditched school to do something more fun? Well, we we're on a Geography day trip in Grade 12 & after a very boring lecture at some agricultural authority of Singapore or something me & a friend lied to our tutor saying we had to do some field research so we had to scram, but really we went to see O. Josh Hartnett was such a heart throb!

19. Slept in a bed with a member of the opposite sex? Yup. Ste bags stayed over the other day after a heart to heart. He broke up with T. =(

20. Lost a friend? No, thank god!

21. Been on a plane? Haha, yes I have.

22. Been to an island? Done!

23. Slept in until 3? And sometimes later, yes.

24. Love someone or miss someone right now? Most definately.

25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Aaah yes, I miss those times I would go cyclying in Singapore.

26. Made a snow angel? Haha, yes!! It didn't snow very well this year, but I have!

27. Played dress up? Of course! And as an adult, halloween is the best chance to do so!

28. Cheated while playing a game? Oh totally!

29. Been lonely? Yeah, kinda.

30. Kissed more than 4 people in one night? Lol, I wish! Nope.

32. Felt an earthquake? Yeah, they're pretty common in South East Asia, but we had our own Manchester one a couple of months ago.

33. Touched a snake? Ophidophobe, remember??!

34. Ran a red light? Nooo!

35. Been suspended from school? Nope.

36. Had detention? Never.

37. Been in a car accident? Ugh yes, with Squid and I don't want to think about it. We're so lucky to be alive!

38. Had a party in your house while your parents were away? Nuh-uh.

39. Used a fake id? They have fake ones??!

40. Crawled through a window? Haha! My bathroom window, yes!! Aaah, good old student halls.

41. Been lost? Atleast twice a day.

42. Been to the opposite side of the country? Country & gobe. Yes.

44. Cried yourself to sleep? Sadly...uh huh...I have...

45. Smoked a cigar? Eww, no.

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Not really, I can't think of anything.

48. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? On my 16th birthday & I remember that one pretty clearly. I had orange juice all over me!

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?! It's the first thing I do when I see its snowing outside!

50. Kissed in the rain? Not yet, but I would love to. Water has such an odd way of making things so sensual.

51. Sang in the shower? Every morning, every night.

52. Made love in a park? Ugh, why do people do tha!

53. Had a dream that you married someone? Yeah, sure I have.

54. Glued your hand to something? *Nods* AND I stapled myself once. It hurts.

55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? I'm surprised that I haven't actually, its so something I could see myself doing.

56. Ever gone to work partially naked? That would be pretty unprofessional. Unless patients are into that kinda thing. I know the nurses's outfit is pretty popular with men. I'm not so sure about doctors.

57. Been a cheerleader? I should have!

58. Had more than ten boy/girl friends? Nope.

59. Didn't take a shower for a week? Never.

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? No, I'm a wuss!

61. Played chicken? Yes? No? I don't know?!

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes, grrr, by my brother. It's always him who does it. And one time I was wearing white cotton shorts so you could see EVERYTHING when they got wet!!

63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? A couple of times in clubs, people have tapped me on the shoulder and said I look really nice or my outfit's really hot. I was very flattered 'cuz they didn't seem drunk or anything & didn't sleaze & ask for my number.

64. Broken a bone? Yes & no.

65. Been easily amused? I am all the time =)

66. Laugh so hard you cry? Hahahahahahahahaha *tears up* ...yes!

67. Mooned/flashed someone? I haven't the balls! I wish I did.

68. Cheated on a test? and gotten caught...7th grade Sanskrit. Geez.

69. Forgotten someone's name? Sometimes, but I'm usually good with names.

71. Done something dumb while drunk? And have photographic proof...

75. Gone to a late night movie? In Singapore yeah, like the midnight shows and stuff.

76. Made love to anything not human? Is this a trick question? *confused* Erm, no.

77. Failed a class? Yup.

78. Choked on something you're not supposed eat? A coin when I was 4, I dunno why I still remember that.

79. Smoked pot? In first year the guy who lived under me dealt, so if I opened my window any time of day I could smell pot.

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? Never have, never would.

81. Celebrate the 4th of July? I live in England. The 4th of July is like the points they get in 'Whos line is it anyway'.

82. Thrown strange objects? Sure.

83. Felt like killing someone? Oooooooh, yes.

84. Thought about running away? Sigh, yeah. But where would I go?

86. Got a piercing? Just my ear lobes, but I do want more.

87. Cut your own hair? I regularly trim my fringe.

89. Made a parent cry? Yeah...*ashamed*. You know I'm not scared anymore of mum getting angry at me, I just never want to disappoint her.

90. Cried over someone? Oh yeah.

91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? I do have a wide collection of colourful pens. But no sharpies.

92. Dated someone more than once? No.

93. Had/Have a dog? I'm scared of dogs!! Ugh, they lick you. Slimy! And their fur gets everywhere & makes me itch!

94. Have an iPod? No, what useless things.

95. Smoked a cigarette? Yeah.

96. Been in a band? Yeap, I played flute. It was very rocker cool.

97. Drank 25 sodas in a day? I don't drink fizzy drinks.

98. Broken a CD? I did try once, its really hard!

99. Shot a gun? At balloons, yeah. I'm pretty good!

100. Wanted someone but could never have them? Nope.

~You're a heartbreaker~

Things get damaged, things get broken. Except its been so long now, I wonder if it'll ever get fixed.
Let me explain...When I had my heart broken for the first time (t'was a cheater) I was young, had been so in love & just felt like I needed to let my emotions out. I guess part of that was putting a little broken heart at the beginning my MSN nick name & hoping and praying that one day I could take it off and replace it with a proper little red heart.
Three years on, its still there & it breaks my heart to see it there. I'm so much older but absolutely none the wiser (and my luck still sucks I guess...). In this moment I feel so heart broken, so squished out of my soul its a little saddening.
Some days I get so jealous watching people hug. Not like those 'Okay I'll see you later' or 'It was so good to see you' hugs. But hugs between people that just love each other so unconditionally, those hugs where you click like two puzzle blocks and you wanna close your eyes and smile 'cuz you feel so loved.
I hate this feeling of being walked all over. I never made the same mistake with anyone twice though, although second chances are worth it sometimes. However, why is it oh God that every man I meet in the end just doesn't respect me. I know all men aren't awful & mean. Some even know how to treat a woman...but why must you make the good one's hide away from me!!! I want to be able to tell someone that I love them and know they really mean it too when they say it back. I can't stop playing my 100 most romantic songs collection! And when I'm done with that its the 36 greatest tear jerkers CD. Ugh! Not helping myself, am I? =) I'm a dodo!!
I'm just _SUCH_ an emotional person. I love to love, to hug people- get & give hugs & I absolutely love my friends. I'm fiercely loyal and loving and it is just the way God made me. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong to cry if something touches you, and say no to someone when they cross the line. I know what my morals are, I believe in them and stand up for them. Most people's lives are just spent in looking/dressing/talking/being like someone else. I, trust me, am pretty 'special' (in the they-gave-you-the-big-crayons-in-kindergarden type way, my friends will vouch for that :) haha!) and I'm proud of that. Does being different repel love? I mean, is it the fact that people don't like what they see? But the eyes are blind, you must look with your heart!
For now I just take comfort in the fact that some of my closest friends are also having issues, atleast we have each other to fall back on and grow old with if nothing else works out!

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.

It's been a while...

Oh dear!

I haven't written on here forever! I always do this... I hadn't written in my dairy for like 5 years, and then I found it the other day in a random drawer.

I move countries, carry it with me, but neither do I read it or even remember that it exists! Geez Louise.

Anyway, I'm gonna be better with this stuff now... I shall write often. I have new goals now. More dreams =) And I wanna type 'em all out for me to remember!

One of them includes getting a tummy like this!!

Colin Farell *

Fathers, lock up your daughters...Colin is in town. I wonder if he can dance though? And I wonder what he would look like starring opposite Catherine Zeta Jones.

I'm ranting...Ignore me. I just wanna dance! Dance away!!!!

chilli crab *

Freaking awesome! My aunt cooked it for us loads this summer...ridiculously expensive but oh my god was it YUMMY! So what if it gave me food poisoning after, it was sooooooo yum yum!

Chili crab is a famous seafood dish served in Singapore. It is made with hard-shell crabs, and cooked in a thick gravy with a tomato chili base.

Here's my favourite sambal chilli recipe. Good stuff man!

http://www.roseskitchenette.com/?p=63

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.