Dance- no ones watching! Love- you're not hurt! Sing- no ones listening! Live- heaven is on earth!

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lavender tulips【ツ】
United Kingdom
I'm a complete nutcase & I love it! I've been in a kind of life crisis *shriek* for a little while now, but I believe everything will sort itself =) Visit if you'd like to see recipe's, pictures of food, silly pictures of me and my friends, stories of my travels and general rantings from explosions of my brain cells.
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Monday, July 14, 2008

Why do people leave?!

Seriously. My family should NOT come visit me. They leave me so heartbroken...I can't deal with it! My brother visited recently, my mum flew back to Singapore to make sure she could spend some time with him before he came here (I still don't understand why she couldn't have just stayed here and the three of us could have had an awesome time!) but he left on Wednesday morning and it's taken me all this while to just deal with the house being so so so empty. My heart feels more empty. Ugh, this is such a sucky feeling.
I really do look forward to my friends and family visiting me but I'm so terrible at goodbyes at the airport (or otherwise). I just couldn't stop the tears when mum left & kept staring at the way she'd left things in my room...and when Mick left, I just couldn't remove the bottles/cans of coke from my room. It was like chucking a part of him in the bin! (My brother drinks coke like water...I think he averaged 4-5 lts a day when he was visiting me)
Haha, my brother mocked me calling it separation anxiety, but I really cannot watch people leave. I think this being 'independent' thing is absolute BS. I mean I definately do like my alone time, but there's something totally different about having someone that cares for you and loves you unconditionally, around all the time. I absolutely suck at trying to keep in touch with everyone via email/snail mail/texts/chatting/calling etc. I've always made an extra effort 'cuz all my family & friends are all over the world, but recently I've just lost interest. I just want to build a super huge house, strategically located on the globe where all my friends and family could live and work and constantly surround me with their company. The company I miss so so much right now!!
I guess it's a little bit blah in my head now 'cuz not only has my family left, but all my housemates families have left as well. The house that at one point had about 25 people hulla-buh-looing around in it had now been reduced to 5 housemates (yes, one of my housemates left to go back to Finland) and it feels rubbish. Plus I've actually pretty much moved into my new flat and I'm the only one in here for now and it's so quiet and spooky. I can't wait till 2 of my current housemates move in with me. Plus with exams looming and me having done not so much revision I've got this constant sinking feeling in my stomach. Sigh.
I had such an awesome time travelling everywhere, but I guess all good things must come to an end. So it's back to square one for now...

2 is the number of camels in the candyfloss sky:

Anonymous said...

Good things end to give themselves a fresh beginning again..:)

Cheers!!

lavender tulips【ツ】 said...

Well precisely what my mum said. If I don't leave how in the world are you gonna miss me?!?! =)
Plus if people don't go, I guess they don't get the chance to come back again eh?