~You're a heartbreaker~

Things get damaged, things get broken. Except its been so long now, I wonder if it'll ever get fixed.
Let me explain...When I had my heart broken for the first time (t'was a cheater) I was young, had been so in love & just felt like I needed to let my emotions out. I guess part of that was putting a little broken heart at the beginning my MSN nick name & hoping and praying that one day I could take it off and replace it with a proper little red heart.
Three years on, its still there & it breaks my heart to see it there. I'm so much older but absolutely none the wiser (and my luck still sucks I guess...). In this moment I feel so heart broken, so squished out of my soul its a little saddening.
Some days I get so jealous watching people hug. Not like those 'Okay I'll see you later' or 'It was so good to see you' hugs. But hugs between people that just love each other so unconditionally, those hugs where you click like two puzzle blocks and you wanna close your eyes and smile 'cuz you feel so loved.
I hate this feeling of being walked all over. I never made the same mistake with anyone twice though, although second chances are worth it sometimes. However, why is it oh God that every man I meet in the end just doesn't respect me. I know all men aren't awful & mean. Some even know how to treat a woman...but why must you make the good one's hide away from me!!! I want to be able to tell someone that I love them and know they really mean it too when they say it back. I can't stop playing my 100 most romantic songs collection! And when I'm done with that its the 36 greatest tear jerkers CD. Ugh! Not helping myself, am I? =) I'm a dodo!!
I'm just _SUCH_ an emotional person. I love to love, to hug people- get & give hugs & I absolutely love my friends. I'm fiercely loyal and loving and it is just the way God made me. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong to cry if something touches you, and say no to someone when they cross the line. I know what my morals are, I believe in them and stand up for them. Most people's lives are just spent in looking/dressing/talking/being like someone else. I, trust me, am pretty 'special' (in the they-gave-you-the-big-crayons-in-kindergarden type way, my friends will vouch for that :) haha!) and I'm proud of that. Does being different repel love? I mean, is it the fact that people don't like what they see? But the eyes are blind, you must look with your heart!
For now I just take comfort in the fact that some of my closest friends are also having issues, atleast we have each other to fall back on and grow old with if nothing else works out!

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.