Maa.

Note: This post is in green, 'cuz its her favourite color :)

I'm in a pretty emotional mood at the moment. In the last 48 hours I've missed maa so much, I've even rang her and told her to just take the next flight and get here!! I started crying as I wrote her an e-mail yesterday. The stress of everything is definately getting to me. Plus its so nice to have mum make food for you when you're sick, I'm missing her incredibly at the moment!

Maa and me definately get along better now that I've been away from home & living on my own for the last 5 years. I was a horrible child & I did have my phases, but maa's always been so so so incredibly supportive of me. Everytime I've been scared all she says is 'Tu fikar kyun karti hai? Maa hai na.' & that encourages me immensely. Mum does have her moments as well & she calls me by my full name *only* when I'm in trouble! =) She also switches to yelling in french sometimes when she gets really annoyed with me or my brother. It makes us giggle, which only enrages her more, which is kinda cute. We annoy her like this all the time! So much fun!

I think distance definately makes the heart grow fonderer, I have grown to love my mother, respect her for what she's been through & how strong she is!! I don't think I could *EVER* go through half of what she's tolerated in life. I just wouldn't still be standing!! I really don't know she does it. She'd fulfilled every aspiration she's ever had, she's studied every degree she's wanted to do- some even after having my brother. She's balanced 2 very demanding kids, a husband (30 years almost!) with a job & a social life...my gosh! Just thinking about it scares me.

I love the relationship I've grown to have with my mother. We've both had to go through change, that we've both initially resisted :) but now are learning to cope with. Boys, clothes, food, music- we changed each other's perspective's on almost everything! Now we're constantly in each other's thoughts. I'd commit murder for her, as would she, for me. We're constantly buying each other little trinklets & cute things, just to make the other person smile. She mailed me a little rock the other day that said 'A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend'. I have it sitting on my desk right here & it makes me warm & fuzzy inside each time I look at it. I've just bought her a really cool book titled 'Mother's Wit' & I can't wait to give it to her when she comes. Along with an Elizabeth Arden perfume I saved up for, which I know she'll love!

She's so funny at times. I was telling her the other day that when she comes over next week, she absolutely cannot move things around in my room. No cleaning, don't touch anything, it doesn't help when you organize things for me 'cuz I can never find anything for months!! She replies on the phone, 'Ab main badi ho gayi houn, main yeh sab nahi karti'. =)

My mum's the coolest character on the block, honest! I remember this new years eve I was the one dragging her off the dance floor at 3 am 'cuz I was getting really tired & wasn't gonna be able to drive us back home otherwise (Oh yeah, my mum's stopped driving ever since I got my license a couple of years back. She doesn't even sit in the front with me, sometimes she sits in the back & makes me run around the car & open & close doors for her. Child labor I tell you!) and she was breaking it down on the floor like nobody's business!! Bless her =)

I think I was about 19 when I started looking at my mom differently. It was the first time I'd realized how she'd stood up for me all her life, how much she wanted me to be independent & stand on my own feet. I clearly remember that day. She'd asked me where I had kept her cheque book & I replied three times to her- 'Kahan? Kahan??' each time getting more and more agitated. Finally I turned my attention away from the tv, got up & get the cheque book for her myself & made some comment on the lines of- I think old age is catching up maa.

The reply I got, really shut me up. She said 'When you were little you'd point up to the sky and ask me- What's that maa? I'd reply, that's a star S. Then you'd ask me again, but what's that one maa? And again I'd reply, that's a star too S. Yet again you'd ask- What about the other one far over there maa? Patiently I'd explain to you that there were a lot of celestial bodies in the galaxy. Then you'd look at me as if I had a racoon sitting on my head & ask me- What's a say-tes-tial body maa?'. I just kept looking quietly at her as she continued to say 'Aaj dekho, tum badi ho gayi ho & I'm the one who keeps asking all the annoying questions. You don't think I've ever wanted to kick your butt up there with the other say-tes-tial bodies?'.

I have, never. ever. gotten annoyed at anything my mother's ever _not_ heard me say since.

Patience is a virtue. Another of life's lessons learnt.

Love you maa!