A sad goodbye...

She came and she made her smile. And people said that when she smiled, her eyes smiled with her. She came and she made her laugh. She came and she made her feel loved. She came and she made her feel like nothing in the world would ever ever *ever* harm her, hurt her or make her cry.

The beautiful bond they shared was strenghtened by the short time they spent together. They travelled, they danced, they ate, they laughed...they had the best time. From sleeping on bunk beds in hostels to pampering themselves in five star hotels, they did it all! They ate ice cream in the sun, they got drenched in the rain, they talked for hours into the night- pausing movies, that they'd never get back to watching.

Their love is a strange love. Nothing could ever get between them, nothing can ever pull them apart. Their love surpasses all other relationships in their lives. They trust each other with their bank accounts =) (and lives) and could commit murder for the other. They're fiercly protective of each other, always watched out for the other and have always supported each other in every aspect of life. People kept wondering as to how these two women could possibly travel so extensively with each other...but knock on wood, God willing, they get along so well they had a fantastic time!! There was a bit of a struggle some years ago, but, with time comes a certain repect and patience for each other, and a desire to understand and accommodate towards the other person.

With an eclectic mix of being both taciturn and loquacious they jabbered for hours and giggled like little girls & sometimes just sat and enjoyed each others company in perfect silence. But this morning there was only silence. Both were holding back tears in between hugs and telling each other to be strong. Each were full of advice for the other, with reminders as to not forget to take their medication, or to always keep smiling...or just to get an errand done. This advice was given awkwardly, in between choking sobs...both wanted just another last hug and to say just another last little word goodbye.

Neither cared if anyone was watching and neither cared of the tears streaming down their faces. They both felt like their hearts were being ripped out of their bodies, an overwhelming feeling I couldn't even make you feel if I wanted to. They looked at each other for one last time between a throng of people at security. Both were blowing each other kisses, now not even trying to hide the tears that were streaming down their faces. They knew that they both needed to hold on to each other real tight and bawl and cry like a baby in the others arms, but they had to move on because so is life. And life makes you move on.

When she came back to her room she felt empty. Something was missing, a part of her had gone. Just...left for a while, kinda like on loan. She just stood there and sighed as she saw half empty cups of chai left around her room. Feeling physically exhausted and emotionally drained she collapsed on her bed nearby and cried into her pillow until her father called and comforted her. She couldn't bring herself to change the sheets, or clean the room as the room smelt of the perfume, the scent she's so used to and misses terribly! She finally just sank into a spot on the floor in the corner of the room and tried to stop those stupid tears, craving one loving tender hug...

Right now she's flying somewhere over Afghanistan and I hope she's okay. I hope she is happy and relaxed being pampered on first class. For now, I just have this sinking feeling. I know something's gone and will remain missing for a while...

I'm inconsolable right now.

My mum flew back this morning.

I love you maa.